Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The school bay

The boy at the beach tried to do a flip and cracked his back. Me and a bunch of kids that were playing on the groyne were trying to keep our balance on the slippery rocks. The groyne looks like a big meteor.

As the kids where swimming a big wave swept them to the shore. The kids where swimming in the water and having a good time.

When we where eating our lunch we saw room 16 eating lunch next to us on the blue sheet. Sadly I heard my friend say it was time to go. the school picnic was very fun.


  1. Hello Lee,
    That would be a good paragraph Lee, if you did have a bit more punctuation in there. Like when you say 'As the kids were swimming, a big wave swept them to the shore.' Can you see where I have put the comma? Oh and maybe you should re-read your work and correct your spelling mistakes. Otherwise this was a great story Lee.

    Love from Chante.

  2. Hi lee

    cool story was it that fun